It's Official

I am officially a mom. This occurred to me last night as I found myself at Krogers at 9:30pm, doing a full grocery shop (not just popping in to get ice cream or beer) and violating every possible rule of fashion. I had on navy leggings, an aqua tunic, a brown hoodie, and black shoes. I'm pretty sure I had a spit up stain somewhere on me, and my hair was in my standard pony-tail. All of this, and I couldn't have cared less who saw me! This must be true because I run into someone I know every time I go to the store (frequently my brother, not that he would care or notice how I look!). I love that about Lexington, but it does mean you can't just run out in your jammies. Or you need to learn to not care how you look as I clearly have. I am hoping to eventually become one of those gloriously fashionable and put-together moms, but I'm not there yet. I have many friends who fit this description, so I guess I need to get some tips on how to look less scary in my day-to-day life. In the meantime, I hope my niece, Katie, keeps nominating me for "What Not to Wear." I could definitely use the makeover and $5,000 wardrobe boost, though I'm afraid I would still go out in the outfit described above!

Doctor, Is My Baby Bulimic?

I should begin by stating that I am aware that bulimia is no laughing matter- I'm a mental health professional for goodness sakes! But I couldn't help but wonder if Baby Girl had developed an acute case of bulimia this weekend. Perhaps all the talk about how gloriously chubby she is finally got to her... or maybe it was that ill-advised afternoon spent watching the America's Next Top Model marathon when I was 9 months pregnant (I'm embarrassed by this but in my sluggish, late pregnancy phase I watched a lot of crap. Just ask G, he'll gladly vent about this one!). Poor Emmy had a rather violent stomach bug beginning on Friday, which she undoubtedly contracted at daycare though really it could have come from anywhere. She is currently in the phase where she would lick the bottom of your shoe if you let her. Everything goes into her mouth! I really struggle with this because I am slightly obsessive-compulsive when it comes to germs, and I don't want to let her put anything in her mouth yet I know she needs to. This is how they explore their world, and she is probably teething. I try make sure she "explores" clean things, but really what can you do? Well, needless to say I am no longer concerned that Emmy has bulimia. Why the sudden glimpse of clarity on my part? Because I'm pretty sure bulimia isn't contagious. G and I caught this bug, too, and got our first taste of parenting while sick. There were some good times and some bad times, but we survived. Together.

Baby Bliss

There are a few things going on this week with our baby girl that I just adore. I want to write about them because they are seemingly small things that could easily be forgotten, yet they are special to G and me. In the past few weeks, Emmy has really discovered laughter. Sure she has been laughing here and there for a while now, but now she has daily periods of uncontrollable, chest-heaving laughter. It is awesome! She thinks everything is soooo funny. Daddy's face, the porch, me saying "chicky chicky," her pink towel, Eeyore, our dog, you name it- hillarious! She has even been laughing in her sleep! BG has been so joyful of late that she wakes up startled, with hands waving in the air and a smile on her face just by the sheer pleasure of being alive. What a beautiful way to live, a way of being that we must forget as we age. I try to see the world through this 6 month old's eyes, and I get glimpses of pure joy from the little, every day things in life, too. For example, early this morning we were swinging on the front porch (like we do all day, every day- we are professional porch swingers!), and it was raining. Every time the wind would blow the leaves with any force she would smile and laugh, and it was beautiful yet something you might not even pay attention to unless you had a small, child guide to reintroduce you to the beauty of the ordinary. What a wonderful time in this little girl's life... I can only hope that this happiness or at least some of it stays with her throughout her days. Her dad and I are not the most exuberant people in the world, so we are not sure where she got such a joyful personality, but we are sure glad she did!

Untreated Ear Infection = Major Parenting Infraction

Baby's first illness requiring actual medical attention occured this week, and I now feel a new level of parental guilt. Poor, sweet little Baby Girl is always so sunny and pleasant that I had no idea she was sick! However, I now know there were clues, pretty obvious clues, that we overlooked or explained away. So here is how it all went down...

"I just wanted to bring her in to be checked out but I'm sure she is fine," said Mom.
"Well, let's just have a look at her and see... let me check her right ear," said Dr. Mack.
"Whaaaaaaaaa!" screamed Emmy.
"Your little girl definitely has an ear infection! Has she been pulling at her ear or coughing any?"
"Um... yes, for about a week or so," said Mom very quietly as she had now shrunk to the size of an ant.

So at this point, I begin to feel physically ill. The guilt has gripped my heart with an intensity that is palpable. We did notice her coughing a little, but she was so smiley when she did it that G and I decided she was showing off her acting skills and doing it for attention. It was cute, so we laughed along with her. I also noticed her pulling her ear, but decided it was a nervous tic developed from the stress of starting daycare. These are explanations only contrived by self-involved, therapist-parents. Poor kid doesn't stand a chance! All behaviors are not psychologically motivated, perhaps there is an underlying medical reason to be considered (real a-ha! moment here). But I don't know medical reasons, therefore, they are scary and to be avoided. Well, not anymore! Good thing about learning things the hard way is you are less likely to forget. Emmy so much as brushes her ear with her hand and we are calling the pediatrician! I need the doctor and a shrink (for me) on speed-dial.

Cute on Babies

Okay, so it has to be said that there are some things that are simply adorable on babies that would otherwise be unsightly or simply obnoxious when displayed by adults. Of course, it helps if it is something involving your baby, and you think everything they do is cute and precious. I think Em's every little movement, gesture, expression, smell (Seriously! Well, not all smells...)etc. is wonderful and entertaining. I guess I am a wee bit enamored of her! So here are the top 5 cutest little things about her that even I recognize are only cute because she is a baby.

1. Her Buddha belly- I love it! The fatter the better, I say! It is so big some days that you would think she just downed a six pack and a bowl of beer nuts. But I promise that the only bottles she is hitting hard have milk in them!
2. Her "thunder thighs," as our friend, Norma calls them- They are huge and have several rolls of fat. They are so cute that I can't help but pinch them every time I get the chance!
3. Her first, full-fledged scream- This occurred for the first time this morning as her father and I were attempting to suction her stuffy nose. She did not like this one darn bit, and she let us know with a seriously loud scream. Sounded like an angry 7 year old was in the room! We laughed at her, which probably psychologically damaged her in some way but it was just so cute!
4. Her thinning hair- Many middle aged men would disagree that there is anything adorable or humorous about hair loss, but I love Em's little bald head! She was born with a head full of thick, black hair, but now she is going bald (or "going egg head,"as G so sensitively puts it) everywhere except for a ring of hair on the back of her neck. Looks like she has a mullet, or as our friends Aimee and Joey more aptly named it a "skullet."
5. Her tooties- Okay! Okay! I know this one is sick, but I don't really think they're cute, I just think they are funny. Sometimes you would swear a drunken sailor is in the room, and that there is no way a tiny little girl could unleash something like that. Em will be mortified by stories of her epic tooties when she brings home her first date!

Well, that is the whole list, for now anyway. I'm sure it will grow as she grows, and we'll find new things to love about this little person every step of the way.

Romantic, Anniversary Celebrations... "Table for three, please!"

So this past week was our first anniversary celebrated with baby. Who knew that the traditional gift for five years of wedded bliss was a little baby girl? G and I are both actually very happy with this gift as long as we don't get a new one every five years.

So for the first time ever, I did not so much as get G a card. I feel quite badly about this, but I could not find the time. We are not big gift-givers in our little family, but I usually like to make him something or get him something small yet meaningful. He actually bought me flowers and wrote me the sweetest card I have ever received in my life. I get sentimental just thinking about it, and how our entry into parenthood has shaped our marriage in new ways. I recently read a quote by writer-director, Nora Ephron that struck me as being fairly accurate. She said, "When you have a baby, you set off an explosion in your marriage, and when the dust settles, your marriage is different from what it was. Not better, necessarily; not worse, necessarily; but different." Having a baby did change our marriage, and things seem reorganized, though I must say that I believe it is better overall. At times, we bicker more, which I regret. This was especially true in the super-sleep deprived, early days. However, we also seem to work as a team better than ever before, and I feel that G is my equal partner in raising our child. More than anything, I enjoy seeing this whole new, sweet and wonderful side of him emerging in his relationship with our daughter. So even though we rarely have time alone, have an extra guest at the table for anniversary dates, bicker more, and honor special occasions less, I wouldn't change a thing! And I'm pretty sure he feels the same.

Top 5 Reasons Not to Wait to Have Children in Your Thirties

I have to issue a warning that I have not slept well this week, which may somewhat color the following statements. Maybe just a tiny, teensy bit.

Having children is a wonderful part of life, and it is certainly a serious endeavor. One might think you ought to wait until you are older to have children for a variety of legitimate reasons. In my case, I was concerned about getting married first (which took me a while), having a willing partner (which took him a while), and achieving financial stability (which took us a while). These seemed to be appropriate concerns yet in the meantime something happened... we got old! Seriously. I haven't pulled an all nighter in well over 10 years, and back then I had two very handy assistants- nicotine and caffeine. I haven't smoked in over 5 years, and I can't drink caffeine past sundown. Why you might ask? Because I am old and way too tired to stay up all night or to even stay up late and get up early. Also, my back hurts. I know this is whiney and pathetic, but it is true. There are other similarly pathetic reasons, which shall be summarized as follows:

Top 5 Reasons Not to Wait to Have Children in Your Thirties
1. Staying up all night hurts
2. Hunching over tiny babies to clean them, diaper them, etc. hurts
3. Finding enough energy to get through the day is a challenge
4. Finding enough energy to stay alive long enough to get said kids through high school will be a challenge
5. You may wish to retire someday but instead will be working double shifts as a Walmart greeter to pay for your kid's dorm room

Seriously now, I am convinced that having kids in your twenties is easier, but this could be a "grass is greener" phenomenon. Anyway, I love my kid more than I ever could have imagined and somehow I find energy to be present for her that I never thought I had. I've said it before and I'll say it again, SHE IS DELIGHTFUL. She really is. The true, best reason to not wait to have kids until you are in your thirties is because the sooner you have them, the sooner you get to love them.

We find a delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Poopapalooza

No one is interested in this one, but I am merely making memories (just the facts, ma'am)! I can't make an accurate record of my journey with BG without saying something about poop. All parents know that poop is a typically, daily part of life with your kids. For some reason, my baby loves to get me with a poo-splosion every time. This morning, still half asleep, thinking it's time to close the diaper up and get out of there, and bam! She got me. When will I learn to be alert, on guard, and prepared to defend myself against enemy attack? I was ill prepared at best- out of wipes, cursing, and wishing for a third hand. Ahh, I'll miss these times with her soon enough, I suppose!

Daycares are Just Covers for Little Baby Sweatshops

Did you know this? It must be true. I imagine that Emmy is making hundreds of pairs of tiny little Nikes each day, and she is exhausted from the sweat and the hand cramps and being hunched over her tiny little sewing machine. All of the machinery and sweat and mean bosses with switches are whisked away just in time before the mommies and daddies show up at the end of the day. Perhaps Kathy Lee is even there.

This must be so because my daughter is exhausted, ex-haus-ted! She has slept so much the past two evenings and just seems worn out. G says it is because she is not being "coddled" and held all the time, and she is simply exhausted by her new found freedom. Since when is he Mr. Optimistic? Well, I guess we are both adjusting. The daycare gals tell me that she is all smiles and seems to enjoy herself during the day. I suppose I will believe them!

Bienvenidos!

I can't believe I am actually blogging! I swear I am much more likely to be clogging than to be doing something as high tech, new millenium as blogging! My husband and I just got the internet hooked up this very weekend after a 2 year hiatus, and let me tell you a whole new world was created during this time! You may be thinking, "Welcome to the 90's!" and you are right, I am out of touch. Anyway, it's good to be back, and I think blogging is one of the cooler developments of recent times and I intend to make good use of it. So in my years off the grid, one very important thing happened to me- I became a mom! My husband/homeboy, G, and I recently had a beautiful baby girl, whom I shall refer to as Emmy, Emerson, Baby Girl, BG, Bear, Teddybear, Ladybug, Boo, Monkey, Ducky, the list goes on & on! As most parents know, creating nicknames for your baby is an entertaining and nonsensical process. G and I love it, though not nearly as much as we love creating songs in her honor (that girl of ours is rather inspirational!). My husband is the master of this activity, though I have to say I can hold my own in the goofy song department. It is these activities exactly that motivate me to create this blog. Some dear family and friends may choose to read this or perhaps no one will, but I wanted to create this blog to record memories both for us and for our sweet girl. I have been writing in journals (with paper and pen- can you imagine!), but I have decided to take advantage of some modern conveniences in my journey through parenthood and this is one of them. Stay tuned! Things happen fast in baby world...