Hair Bows and Gender Roles

This weekend was Emmy's Aunt Polly's birthday, and we went to visit her of course. For this special occasion, Ms. Em decided to dress up like a birthday present and wear a bow in her hair for the very first time ever! It was beyond precious. I am quickly realizing that I have this deeply rooted, girly side of me that I suppressed for many years. I have certainly indulged this side of my personality at various times in my life, and I'm pretty in touch with my feminine side now (i.e. I love to shop, love makeup, would be into dressing up/fixing up more if I had the time, love musicals, dance, knitting, even starting to enjoy cooking, etc.), which is all in a bit of a contrast to my early 20's grungy-hippy phase (Yes, I had a bit of a time finding my self! Cue the image of a thrift store fashioned, makeup-less, moccasin wearing, strange person). I know the things I listed aren't exclusively in the female domain but I guess I am sometimes surprised at how traditional I am/have become in regard to gender roles. For example, this weekend I was mopping the floor with Emmy watching me in her exersaucer. I was telling her how to do it, you know, step by excruciatingly detailed step in order to keep talking and hopefully pacify her while keeping her contained. I was telling her how important it would be to learn to take care of a home for herself and her family, but that I really hope she will find a man who will enjoy mopping the floor, cooking, etc. I explained that her daddy is actually pretty progressive in his willingness to engage in all forms of domesticity, but that often he and I can be a little traditional in our approaches to getting things done. G does all of the outside work and I work a lot on the inside. You can tell this because our yard usually looks great, but the inside of our house is often a wreck. G would probably argue that he does all of the outside work and half of the inside work, and he would probably be right . But it made me wonder what "traditional" will even mean when Emmy is my age? Because boundaries are being broken and lines being crossed or blurred more and more it seems important to give children, especially young girls, a range of experiences. Of course I plan to follow Emmy's interests, but until her interests are more fully formed, I guess I'm going to have to remember to encourage her exploration of "traditionally" male oriented activities. Maybe G should talk to her about how to fix the lawn mower. And I think I'll start by buying her a dump truck for Christmas. Maybe she can drive her baby doll around in it!

Random Things

Vacuumed the rug with a baby on my hip last night. This was a first because until now, Em screamed bloody murder at the sound of a vacuum. She, like I, hates to do housework, but she was fine with it last night. I felt so domestic...

I love that song Beautiful Boy by John Lennon. Always have, even before I had a child of my own. We were listening to it last night while playing and I re-realized how much I love it. Not only is it a sweet song of a parent's love and hopes for his child, but such a tender moment of love expressed by a daddy. John Lennon was quite the renaissance man. Men still don't openly express such love for their children all that often in our culture, but this song came 20 years ago or so. It is such a shame he is gone.

So I took Em to the museum to see the new photography exhibit the other night, but there was a board meeting going on in that room. The new, main exhibit right now is The American West. I'm not so much into this one, but Em loved the Native American headdresses. They really are cool. She also liked some of the jewelry and apparel. I was on campus the other day and saw a young, hippy-ish fellow who was wearing moccasins. Reminded me of my moccasin phase (yes, I had a moccasin phase, unfortunate though it was...). I hesitated to show the American West exhibit to Emmy because I had flashes of how this might inspire some future, disastrous fashion moments for her as well. I really empathized with the Native American plight when I was about 17-18 or so (Mom, I know you remember this! Reference college dorm room decor circa 1993). I still do have empathy for Native Americans, of course, but there was something about the whole situation that really resonated with my teenage angst. Mmm mmm mmm. What will it be when Em is full of angst, energy and bold albeit strange fashion sensibilities? As Lennon said, "I can hardly wait to see you come of age!"

One last thing... Upon viewing the permanent collection at the UK Art Museum, Em and I were pleasantly surprised to see that they have an Alexander Calder mobile (The Star). I have no idea how we have missed this before other than I am sad to say that perhaps we failed to look up???? Anyway, it is magnificent and our cool, art student-docent du jour set it into motion for us. Em was mesmerized, as was I. There is also a beautiful sound sculpture right below, which we had noticed before but had never heard as it is clearly labeled "do not touch" and we can be rule-followers at times. The docent also set this into motion for us and we loved it. Check these out if you can!

Where is Julie the Cruise Ship Director When You Need Her?

We are quickly approaching winter here in KY- the days are short and the temperatures are falling. Until now, Em and I have spent a good half of our weekday evening hours outside. This has involved playing, walking the dog, going to the park, visiting friends and neighbors, etc. Good times really. I pick her up every day at 4 o'clock or a little before, and G does not get home until 6:30pm. This gives me over two hours of solo responsibility for entertaining the baby. This used to be easy because of the above listed outdoor activities and her being a mostly immobile, little blobish baby girl. Sitting on my lap on the porch swing and reading the occasional book was really all the added entertainment needed in addition to our outdoor rec. Oh, but the times they are a changin'! Playing outside is out of the picture most days now, though you can that believe any day 50 degrees or above and we will be at the park (maybe even in the high 40's if we bundle up!). And Ms. Em is an expert crawler and non-stop cruiser. She thinks she can walk, and needs constant play and exploration opportunities yet my options are more limited than before. Oh, and did I mention that Mommy is a generally, low-energy thirtysomething who lacks in creativity when tired? Poor Em! I try to combat against these obstacles by structuring our time somewhat. We have days when we visit family and friends or have visitors, which are really nice. Em loves to visit and so do I. But we also have our Mommy-Daughter days, which are truly special but also times when I occasionally lose steam. Em has pretty intense needs for stimulation right now, and if you don't keep her occupied she just wants to get into trouble! She tries to mess with the dog (poor Bobby!), fall on her head, eat the mail, lick the glass while looking out the front door, etc. So sometimes field trips are in order! Em still has no idea about half of the stuff that exists in this world, so I figure it is all pretty interesting to her. I can take her along on errands and tell her about what we see, and she loves all people so there is always that point of interest. Sometimes our trips are more fun. Today I'm going to take her to see the new photography exhibit at the UK Art Museum. I know she is a little young to have any true artistic appreciation for it, but she loves photographs right now. Especially photos of people, and this is an exhibit of rural life which should satisfy this artistic inclination of hers. Last time I took her there I got some strange looks, and she was much quieter then. I am curious to see how long we last before she starts squealing or trying to lick the displays! I'll let you know how it goes. Actually, you'll know it went poorly if I report that our next field trip was to a demolition derby or chainsaw factory instead of a museum.

Blessings

It is nearing Thanksgiving so I guess it is time to start counting our blessings, and it seems like they just keep coming this year. Yesterday was Emmy's baby dedication (our version of baptism, christening, etc.), and it was truly one of the best days of my life! It was a beautiful fall day, we presented our sweet little daughter to her church family for a lovely blessing, and we got to spend the entire day with dear family and friends. It was wonderful! I was so happy that I nearly couldn't fall asleep because really the whole day was like a beautiful dream. Don't you love days like that? We should all get to have more of them than we do, but you have to savor them when they come. One of the sweetest moments for me was when the preacher acknowledged what a crowd of supporters Emmy had present and asked all of our family and friends to raise their hands. When we looked out and saw how many were there, Greg and I were both touched by the support that our little family has. It meant so much! But the best part came when the preacher said that with a support group like that, he knew Emmy would never be neglected. Simple words really, but given that I have spent my entire adult life trying to end the heartbreaking neglect of little children, this was especially touching. He is right, and the difference for Emmy (unlike the precious foster children I meet every day) is a little bit of good fortune and a big supportive family. We could not do it without our loved ones and God's blessing. What a day!

Like a Very Tiny Rolling Stone

We have had some family trips of late, and Ms. Em has been riding the rails with us (actually, we took our station wagon, but isn't it more fun to picture her as a little, baby hobo?). I think I can speak for us all when I say that we had a blast! The first trip was to the mountains, where G did some serious kayaking. The plan was for Em and I to do some serious hiking, but the weather did not cooperate. It was freezing cold and snaining that weekend at the Breaks (snain being my bro's favorite term to describe that lovely sleet-snow-rain combo). This was a bummer, but we still had fun. We took beautiful drives, took pictures at the many scenic overlooks and introduced Emmy to the Russell Fork River, where she will have many good times and create countless childhood memories. She seemed to like it and enjoyed watching some boaters carve it up on the play wave at Rat Hole. That is a good thing because I spend much time hanging out at Ratliff Hole (river take out) waiting on her daddy, and now she can keep me company. In warmer times, this is a great swimming hole too. So Em got to meet a few more of G's boating community, and she and I met all sorts of friendly locals at the lodge. We had a great time! True to baby form, I think the highlight of the trip was Em's discovery that our lodge room had a ceiling fan. You know she loves them! I must say this was about the only highlight of that lodge room. It was pretty bad, but I was glad to have it given how cold it was that weekend. Fortunately by the end of the weekend, it had warmed up a bit. On our way home, we decided to do some hiking in the Red River Gorge. It was beautiful and so many fellow hikers stopped to comment on the tiniest hiker in the Gorge and to commend us for getting her started early. This was so fun and the golden autumn day was surreally beautiful. G and Emmy were a hoot, and we laughed and squealed so much that we probably scared off all forms of wildlife. G and I may never see a deer again!

So that was the country, but our next stop was the city by the lake. Chicago, though a totally different experience, was absolutely wonderful. I think G and I were both energized by being in the city for a week, and Em loved all of the people. I have to tell you that I never realized what a friendly city Chicago was until I went there with a baby. Folks everywhere stopped to interact with her, open the doors for us and comment on our cute little one. She loved the throngs of people walking toward us on the street, and in the museums she was convinced that the people were the art! Em was in heaven as was I! We enjoyed the Museum of Contemporary Art, which was actually pretty cool to see with a baby. So many of the installations there are quite large and easier for a baby to experience, albeit on her pint-sized level. Our mutual favorite was a photography exhibit titled, Disco Ball in a Forest. This involved a dark room, where a large-format, video of a forest scene was projected onto a wall. It was a typical, snowy, nighttime forest scene except there was a shining, spinning disco ball suspended from one of the trees. Emmy laughed and clapped for this one, and I did too. I can't quite convey its grooviness, but it is worth seeing. We also loved the Art Institute, of course, and Em got her first taste of some of the greats. I was a little concerned at first because every time we entered the Impressionist wing, she would cry. I thought perhaps impressionism is not her cup of tea? But alas, she just needed a new diaper. So I changed her and then we were off to enjoy Van Gogh, Monet, Manet, Pissaro, etc., etc. What a day! For me the highlights were the Jackson Pollack pieces. Em was worn out by this time, so I have a lovely photo of her passed out in front of Greyed Rainbow. Such inspiration to be had in a city. The beautiful art. The architecture of Millennium Park and city block after city block of impressive buildings. G and I vowed to work at making sure Emmy is exposed to creativity and big thinking, which can be harder to find in some ways in a small town.

Overall, both trips were such successes that I can't wait for our next adventure. It will likely be spring before we motor on again because G will be busy making the legislature happy over the winter months. I hope we can pack a little lighter and I'd really rather fly than drive more than 3 hours ever again, but otherwise I wouldn't change a thing!