Lily

Lil will be 5 months old next week. How that happened, I have no idea yet it also seems like she has been here forever. I still don't know who she looks like, which is kind of surprising to me. I thought for sure she would look like Emmy, but she doesn't at all. They both have the Whitt blue eyes, but that is where the similarities stop. When Emmy was born, I took one look at her and thought, "I've known you all of my life... and here you are." It was the coolest thing. I looked into those big, blue eyes and saw part Greg, part my mother and part some old soul that I felt had always been there. When Lil was born, I took one look at her and thought, "Aren't you the most precious, tiny little thing... are you sure this one is mine?" I still look at her sweet, smiling face and wonder who this little person is, but she is definitely mine-all-mine. Emmy has always been a bit of a Daddy's girl, though we are super close too. I tell her she is Mommy's girl and she agrees but reminds me that I have to share her with Daddy. Lil, on the other hand, just might be my gal. Maybe it's because I'm still breastfeeding and she loves to eat, but maybe just maybe this one will be Mommy's girl. I know it is sick, but I just want them both to love me best. I wanted to become a mom so bad it hurt and Greg kind of fell into fatherhood because he was along for the ride (though it turns out he is a truly gifted parent, of course). But shouldn't they love me best, though? I am the mama! Oh, little girls and their daddies. He is so cute and nice, which makes it even harder. He also gives into Emmy's whims much more than me, and he is around less which makes him seem more special. I'm just boring old Mom. Hmm. Well, anyway, I may have some luck left with Ms. Lily. So far, she continues to be an excellent baby. She is our Chill Lil. Super laid back. Only learned to roll over because I made her, and content with whatever. She has been battling RSV since starting daycare 5 weeks ago, so her coughing tends to wake her up in the night which makes me sad. She had been sleeping through the night quite well until recently. She sure is growing up too fast. Much faster it seems than Emmy. These baby months are going too quickly, and I hate that. We'll never have another baby in the house again so I'm trying to relish these days even when they are hard. Sometimes they are very hard, too, I'm not going to lie. Like being so tired you just have to cry for a minute at the end of a long day hard, and I am generally a pretty tough chick. But this motherhood, especially times two, is the biggest challenge I've ever faced. It is also the best thing that has ever happened to me and I thank God for it. And my husband. And my girls. Thank you, Ms. Lily for the toughest yet absolute best 5 months of my life.